pipers_son | 005 // Video (Action for Goldenrod) // Feb 14th

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005 // Video (Action for Goldenrod) // Feb 14th

Y'know, I gotta say that the future sure is somethin'. All these fancy gadgets, new food, and lookit this make up.

[With an opening line like that, it's probably not surprising to see that Joker... appears to be in a cosmetics store. The 'gear is apparently propped up against a shelf while Joker casually flicks through various lipsticks and eyeliners. He's already applied something to his eyelids along with his usual make up because why not.]

[Somewhere in the background, there's... hissing? Anyone looking closely might be able to spot a Luxray on top of the shelf behind Joker, back arched and fangs bared. Joker doesn't pay her any mind.]

I've never much tried for lipstick before, but I suppose if there's ever a time ta give it a good ol' go... [Joker holds up a lavender shade of lipstick to the 'Gear, humming.] think it'd go well with my eyes?

[The Luxray hissing has finally evolved to bursts of upset yowling and Joker sighs.]

Oh, an' Rogue found a new friend. [Setting down the lipstick, he adjusts the 'Gear so that the camera is pointed towards the ground. That sure is a positively slime soaked Furret wrapped up tight around one of those... weird slime ball Pokemon. Is it a Pokemon? Joker is assuming so for the time being. Either way, both Furret and slimeball have looks of giddy bliss on their faces.] Tried ta separate 'em, but they wouldn't have none of it. Needless ta say, Lightning isn't particularly pleased. Too wet for her likin'. Oi, aren't ya supposed ta be strong against them water types?

[Just more angry electric cat yowling. Joker sighs.]

And it ain't comin' up on our little gadgets either... Ah well. I'll leave that for ya more intelligent types. Me, I'll just focus on the more mundane matters. Don't got a special someone for the romantic day myself- [And he gives a wink to the 'Gear.] -but best a luck for all of ya who do~.

[For anyone in Goldenrod, well, Joker will be in that cosmetic store for a while... angry hissing Luxray, slimy but extremely happy Furret, Bloober, and all.]

[Oh, but if you have CR with the ringleader... You might find something anyway.]

[Have CR with this loser? Well, he might have something for you, too. Thanks to Carmen's post the other day, he got an idea, hastily threw some things together and got some deliveries made. Looks like your characters will be getting flowers today!]

[Snake, you're going to have a very determined certain little Mime Jr. hunt you down. That sure is a bouquet bigger than her little body in her arms. There's a cluster of freesia flowers in the midst of some bluebells... and if he goes searching, he might find a little milkvetch flower. Huh. Mayuri will find similar waiting for her at her room window in the beak of a serious looking Tranquill. There's bluebells involved in this one, too, although narcissus flowers mix it up this time around.]

[Hey Saionji, you like flowers, right? No? Too bad, you're getting a delivery anyway. Man that sure is a freakin' ton of nasturtium flowers with specks of eupatorium flowers... Crocker will just find himself receiving a sparse few coronillas. Envy will be the recipient of some mock orange flowers, and France will get some matching orange lilies (with some spearmint flowers hidden underneath).]

[Killua, Maka Albarn, John Egbert, you three will be getting some flowers too via delivery. All three of them will be getting mixed bouquets of canterbury bells and yellow lilies. It's more as a 'thank you' for being friends with Snake- Joker likes those who look after his friends.]

[Because of course he has to be ridiculous about it, every bouquet will have a joker playing card attached to it. What.]

[I went with this site for meanings.]

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[She didn't get chocolates or anything, which settles pretty well with her. And hell no was she giving out presents.

Saionji manages to guess the sender soon enough- how many people are associated with a joker card more than someone literally named Joker?]

Well, Mr. Stooge, I didn't think you someone who knows how to buy flowers. It looks relatively pretty, and I'll be so kind as to accept it. [She's trying to interpret the meaning, but with her lack of knowledge involving Western flowers, all she can muster from the bouquet is 'delay hate', which... kind of makes sense, but not really.

So she's going with the assumption he just bought whatever looked pretty.] And ew, you actually got one of those? They're probably full of germs and deadly infections!

[Quick on the draw as always. That's Saionji. He's already grinning at the little nickname she's given him.]

I'm a man a many talents, Hiyo-chan~. [Oh dear, someone taught him honorifics.] I used ta do other things besides leadin' the ring, and flowers just happened ta be a part a that! They used ta be all the rage, ya know. Nobles love those hidden meanings.

[Not that he's going to explain much more on that front.]

Eh, not so much as 'got' as I let Rogue wander off and he found our new little friend. Now he's too attached... literally, I think, ain't quite sure.

[...In any case, Saionji's looking at the flowers a bit more closely. Those are a breed she doesn't recognize, the orange ones... she'll need to ask around. Since it's Ecruteak, there should be someone who knows.]

You sound like a creepy old man, Mr. Stooge. Not that you aren't.

I thought those... slimy things were rare! But they're weak and only fun to step on, nothing more. It's just mindless hype, as always. Some undiscovered species that never evolved to catch up with the times.

[Aww, how cute, showing interest in the bouquet. It's lasting longer than he thought it would.]

Now now, I ain't that old.

Think they can evolve then? Maybe that's the problem. Try stickin' some a those stones about their faces.

[SHE'LL FIGURE OUT SOON. Hey, there's a flower shop...]

Not yet, anyway! And I'm not touching them. You do it, since you're stuck with one. [Fucking slimy ass shits.]

...Also, that lipstick doesn't fit. Get something brighter. [She doesn't really care too much about whatever the fuck he's doing. She puts on make-up for performances herself, anyway.]

[Oops is his mouth twitching when he sees where she's going? sssssh, no, just focus on bloobers.]

I'll probably have to if I wanna pry Rogue away so he can do his battles.

[Most troublesome Furret. But OH JOY time to talk about make up.]

Yeah? I thought about gettin' somethin' in orange, but got enough of that with my hair. Thought it might be a bit dull if I just repeated myself.

[What do you mean? She's totally not in a flower shop or anything, it's not like she has severe problems concerning hiding her camera view!]

Don't squish them, they'll just make more goo. They're giant, icky snails- not even useful ones, too.

Something that's red, orange, or yellow. Somewhere around there, but different enough from your hair to be outstanding. Or you can put two different colors on different sides.

[She's talking to someone in the background now, too. IT'S NOT GONNA BE LONG...]

[Of course, of course. And like a proper gentleman, he won't say a word about it. Joker just keeps on smiling as he waits.]

Hey, never knew how useful a rope a fur would be, but my Furret's one a my best partners! [You know when he isn't covered in bloober slime]

Now isn't that an idea~! Hiyo-chan, clever as usual.

[And he'll just go to trying them out, using one of those handy dandy mirrors nearby. Orange and purple because, again, why not. Make up washes off anyway, unlike most other bad life choices that Joker's made.]

[Like, y'know, associating with Saionji.]

Your suffix is beginning to get on my nerves. And- try splitting it vertically and horizontally. Or diagonally, if you're fine with getting a mess on your face-

[Hold on a minute]

What do you mean these flowers mean 'victory'?!

[She's yelling that off-screen, but then glares at the Gear all the same, her face suddenly fuming. YOU TRIES TO PLAY ME FOR A RUBE, YOU LITTLE SHIT]

[He's going with that first suggestion, for the record. Although GOLLY it sure is hard to put on make up properly when you're grinning like an asshole so much your mouth starts to hurt.]

Hey Hiyo-chan, what's White Day, that's a Japanese thing innit?

[~CASUALLY~]

[~LIKE HE ISN'T PAYING ATTENTION AT ALL~]

[SHE'D BE FROTHING AT THE MOUTH IF SHE WAS ANYTHING LIKE IBUKI

The flower's meaning is starting to hit her, and she's very gracefully tearing the bouquet apart right now. In the shop. What is happening.]

I'll break your nose if you suggest pulling this for White Day too! [HFEUGHViWIGQ;;::; ANGER. She's out the flower shop now, at least.] How dare you disguise something so vile in flower language!

[Oh god this is beautiful. She tore them up right in the flower shop. That poor register lady. Joker's shoulders are literally shaking as he tries to contain his laughter.]

[Clearly he will never regret this at all.]

That's high praise comin' from a person like yerself, Hiyo-chan~! Since I'm sure ya could come up with somethin' worse if ya put yer mind to it.

While that is an idea, I'm askin' more for someone else and since she's similar ta yerself with where she's from- [He thinks??] -thought I'd ask.

But ya do get somethin' on this White Day then, yeah?

[Is the flower shop closing doors behind her? Yes, it is. She sends out Ayani and gets her to rip the card into pieces in her jaws.]

At least I have the decency to make my intentions clear! [Which means she probably does this. Yes, she does. Funny how she calls death threats directed at her disgusting when it's one of her most common actions.] And- similar to me?

If you're talking about Big Sis Nanami, you can forget it! And there's no way I'll accept a gift from you on White Day! [SHE'S NOT PROTECTIVE OF NANAMI AT ALL, HAHA, NO, GET OUT OF MY FACE JOKER]

'Course ya do. [Yeah he isn't buying that one.]

Don't even know who this Nanami lady is, so ya don't have ta worry about that, either. [Although now this means he has to meet her just to infuriate Saionji.] Just tell me, alright? Or else looks like I might end up butcherin' some of yer pretty Japanese culture while I don't know what I'm doin'.

[UUUUUURGH...

She's staring daggers at the screen, still.] ...Fine. Don't think I'll forget this!

On White Day, you give back presents to whoever gave tastelessly you anything on Valentine's Day. It should be around three times the cost of the Valentine's gift. If it was handmade- though I doubt anyone would waste that much effort on you- then the return present should be handmade, too.

[THAT'S ALL SHE'S TELLING YOU.] So who do you mean by 'similar to me'? [Does he mean Celes? Wow, ew, no. Or...

...it better not be fucking Tsumiki-]

[Hahahaha, he knew that would get her goat. Victory flowers once again.]

[Although at least it does look like he's paying strict attention- no longer dicking around with make up as he stares at the screen attentively.]

Three times? [Just a small whistle.] Glad she didn't get me the stars, then. [So homemade for homemade, right, he can do that easily enough. He knows how to cook and all. Maybe something else to go along with it? Aah, foreigners are so weird.]

[Joker redirects his attention to the make up as he thinks about it, and just casually shrugs at the sudden questioning.]

Same country, I figured. Unless she's- what's it, Chinese, there we go.

[Are there other countries that way? Probably. Guess who doesn't know them? The Victorian era British circus ringleader.]

I really pity any of my fellow Japanese dense enough to bother giving you a gift. [That's a relief, though- be more specific with that! Eheh. Saionji really needs to get back on groove with interrogation.] And Chinese people aren't even close to Japanese!

[SHE DOESN'T LIKE CHINESE PEOPLE TOO MUCH. More than Westerners, but still.] If she's Chinese, she's probably just toying with you and milking you of whatever attention and money you can spare... and if she's actually Japanese, count your lucky stars.

[She casually tosses the rest of the bouquet at Ayani, who treats it like a chew toy.] Though, I trust she has the sense to go for bigger fish sooner or later.

Well, I've never really met any before comin' here, so I couldn't tell ya.

[SHRUG! Joker is actually just... kind of pleasantly surprised that he's gotten anything today. He's never really gotten anything from outside his family before when it's come to a day like this. Here, well, he certainly hadn't thought he'd made an impression on enough people to earn this.]

Even if she does move on, hey, at least she got somethin' for me today. They're nice chocolates, too.

So I suppose Hiyo-chan didn't get anythin' besides my gift today, did she~?

Well, I should've expected it from an uneducated Westerner from the past.

[And... yeah, his 'gift' kind of was the only thing she got. And also a Bloober, but that hasn't happened. Yet. She will be so mad.] As if I'd could that as a gift! And no, I didn't- and that works with me. I'm not giving anything to anyone, and I don't want someone to be entitled to a present from me next month. You don't need to give your allies or slaves presents, anyway.

[He will not bother denying either of those things.]

I wonder if that's a Japanese thing or just a Hiyo-chan thing?

Well, many people still believe in 'romance will solve all your problems' and 'friendship' and all. Japanese culture is nice and all, but the people can be annoying.

Not as annoying as others, but still. [Hmmm.] I never celebrated those days anyway.

I'm not surprised ta hear that in the least.

Aaaah, what a bitter girl dear Hiyo-chan is~.

Shut up, Mr. Stooge. Funny, how everyone tends to call more realistic people 'bitter'.

I never had reason to celebrate it! And if I did, I wouldn't have time, anyway.

Probably know a bit more about realism than yerself.

Well looks like ya have plenty a time now, doesn't it?

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