005 // Video (Action for Goldenrod) // Feb 14th

[pipers_son]

Y'know, I gotta say that the future sure is somethin'. All these fancy gadgets, new food, and lookit this make up.

[With an opening line like that, it's probably not surprising to see that Joker... appears to be in a cosmetics store. The 'gear is apparently propped up against a shelf while Joker casually flicks through various lipsticks and eyeliners. He's already applied something to his eyelids along with his usual make up because why not.]

[Somewhere in the background, there's... hissing? Anyone looking closely might be able to spot a Luxray on top of the shelf behind Joker, back arched and fangs bared. Joker doesn't pay her any mind.]

I've never much tried for lipstick before, but I suppose if there's ever a time ta give it a good ol' go... [Joker holds up a lavender shade of lipstick to the 'Gear, humming.] think it'd go well with my eyes?

[The Luxray hissing has finally evolved to bursts of upset yowling and Joker sighs.]

Oh, an' Rogue found a new friend. [Setting down the lipstick, he adjusts the 'Gear so that the camera is pointed towards the ground. That sure is a positively slime soaked Furret wrapped up tight around one of those... weird slime ball Pokemon. Is it a Pokemon? Joker is assuming so for the time being. Either way, both Furret and slimeball have looks of giddy bliss on their faces.] Tried ta separate 'em, but they wouldn't have none of it. Needless ta say, Lightning isn't particularly pleased. Too wet for her likin'. Oi, aren't ya supposed ta be strong against them water types?

[Just more angry electric cat yowling. Joker sighs.]

And it ain't comin' up on our little gadgets either... Ah well. I'll leave that for ya more intelligent types. Me, I'll just focus on the more mundane matters. Don't got a special someone for the romantic day myself- [And he gives a wink to the 'Gear.] -but best a luck for all of ya who do~.

[For anyone in Goldenrod, well, Joker will be in that cosmetic store for a while... angry hissing Luxray, slimy but extremely happy Furret, Bloober, and all.]

[Oh, but if you have CR with the ringleader... You might find something anyway.]

[Have CR with this loser? Well, he might have something for you, too. Thanks to Carmen's post the other day, he got an idea, hastily threw some things together and got some deliveries made. Looks like your characters will be getting flowers today!]

[Snake, you're going to have a very determined certain little Mime Jr. hunt you down. That sure is a bouquet bigger than her little body in her arms. There's a cluster of freesia flowers in the midst of some bluebells... and if he goes searching, he might find a little milkvetch flower. Huh. Mayuri will find similar waiting for her at her room window in the beak of a serious looking Tranquill. There's bluebells involved in this one, too, although narcissus flowers mix it up this time around.]

[Hey Saionji, you like flowers, right? No? Too bad, you're getting a delivery anyway. Man that sure is a freakin' ton of nasturtium flowers with specks of eupatorium flowers... Crocker will just find himself receiving a sparse few coronillas. Envy will be the recipient of some mock orange flowers, and France will get some matching orange lilies (with some spearmint flowers hidden underneath).]

[Killua, Maka Albarn, John Egbert, you three will be getting some flowers too via delivery. All three of them will be getting mixed bouquets of canterbury bells and yellow lilies. It's more as a 'thank you' for being friends with Snake- Joker likes those who look after his friends.]

[Because of course he has to be ridiculous about it, every bouquet will have a joker playing card attached to it. What.]

[I went with this site for meanings.]

Comments

[konpeitoqueen]

Well, many people still believe in 'romance will solve all your problems' and 'friendship' and all. Japanese culture is nice and all, but the people can be annoying.

Not as annoying as others, but still. [Hmmm.] I never celebrated those days anyway.

[pipers_son]

I'm not surprised ta hear that in the least.

Aaaah, what a bitter girl dear Hiyo-chan is~.

[konpeitoqueen]

Shut up, Mr. Stooge. Funny, how everyone tends to call more realistic people 'bitter'.

I never had reason to celebrate it! And if I did, I wouldn't have time, anyway.

[pipers_son]

Probably know a bit more about realism than yerself.

Well looks like ya have plenty a time now, doesn't it?

[konpeitoqueen]

What gives you the right to say that?

Well, I still don't want to do it, anyway. [GRRRRR]

[pipers_son]

It's a mystery~.

[AKA he ain't telling you shit, Saionji.]

Anyway, thanks for the help, Hiyo-chan! I'll be sure ta put this White Day stuff ta good use.

[konpeitoqueen]

What do you mean by that? You've got no right at all, that was the answer! [His cheeriness is really grating her, now. He really was continuously mocking her all the way, wasn't he?!]

Oi, don't think I won't forget that insult and act all buddy-buddy with me!

[pipers_son]

A mystery means it ain't for ya ta find out, Hiyo-chan~. Ya would have ta do some investigatin', but that won't do ya much good here.

[He's just as much a stranger as anyone else, after all. Only one person knows now about how he was back in England... and he knows Snake won't tell her a thing.]

If ya won't forget, does that mean you'll get me somethin' for White Day?

[konpeitoqueen]

[Dammit Joker. DON'T AGGRAVATE THE MIDGET BEAST.]

NO I WON'T! [It's taking all her damn willpower not to burst a dam right now, seriously. Or maybe it's partly from raw anger. She won't cry over being made fun of by... this asshole.]

Unless you want me to get you a trip straight to the Pokécenter, stop belittling me! [Is he even belittling her? Oh, who are you kidding of course he is]

[pipers_son]

[BUT IT'S SO FUN. ]

Ya have such a hair trigger temper, I can't help it! Besides, heard it's good for ya ta have a taste of yer own medicine now and then.

[konpeitoqueen]

[She's gonna explode at this point

There will be fallout GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN]

Excuse me?! And why would I need that? Everything I do is justified!

[...saionji]

[pipers_son]

[Hopefully they don't run into each other in the same city again, that would be a w k w a r d.]

Then everythin' I'm doin' is justified too.

[konpeitoqueen]

No it isn't! I'm above you! In status and culture, knowledge and talent! I have every right that you don't!

[Okay that's a bit harsh even for Saionji standards

Hopefully Joker isn't headed to Ecruteak...! Welp.]

[pipers_son]

Culture I won't bother a wit about, but how do ya know everything else?

[Hahahahahaaaa, he is staying right the fuck in Goldenrod for a while, thanks]

[konpeitoqueen]

It's common sense, isn't it? If I'm of high culture, I know more. Since I'm SHSL Classical Japanese Dancer, I'm much more talented than the majority of the human population! And so, my status is elevated above yours!

Even if I'm not yet the best at Pokémon battles, I'll naturally race to the top in no time!

[GOOD IDEA.]

My blood is boiling just by seeing your face. Do yourself a favor and stay down, Mr. Stooge!

[pipers_son]

This SHSL thing is a future bit, 'tho, innit?

For all ya know, if I'd been born around yer time, mighta got a SHSL Ringleader on yer hands. [AS A MATTER OF FACT] Like the sound a that, actually!

So fer now on, ya can call me that~. SHSL Ringleader, at yer service.

[konpeitoqueen]

[...Wait what.]

You can't just give yourself an SHSL title! You'll have to be the best in the world!

[Then again, how many ringleaders are there in this world? Team Rocket could fit the 'illegal' definition, but-]

[pipers_son]

[Exactly.]

Well, who's ta say I ain't? Besides, s'not like anyone else is around ta give it ta me.

[konpeitoqueen]

No, you dumb pig! You need to be a High School student, too! And enroll in Hope's Peak! If no one is around to give it to you, then don't take it, moron!

[GOD FUCKING DAMMIT she can't rebut the fact that he very well may be the best and only ringleader here, though. Shit.]

[pipers_son]

Well, this Hope's Peak ain't exactly here, so we're gonna have ta fake it a bit, ya know.

[And hey, sure, he'll go try out high school. That'll be a fun new experience, considering he's never had to do regular schooling to begin with.]

[what do you mean that's not how it works]

[konpeitoqueen]

[GOD

FUCKING

DAMMIT]

You can't just 'fake' something for an SHSL title! You have no idea how much significance and power it holds, you dumbass! I feel like bashing my head in just listening to you!

[SHE WANTS TO HANG UP SO BAD BUT SHE ALWAYS WANTS TO STOP HIM]

[pipers_son]

[THESE CONVERSATIONS ARE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH, SAIONJI, JUST HANG UP]

Actually, ya can fake a lotta things if ya just try. Have ya tried?

Fakin' it, I mean, not bashin' yer head in. Not a pleasant experience, that.

[konpeitoqueen]

[IT'S GOING TO BE BAD FOR BOTH OF THEIR WELL-BEINGS, WHY ARE THEY STILL DOING THIS]

I don't need to stoop to faking! Everything from my talent and skill is authentic! [FUCK YOU WESTERN CULTURE AND YOUR BASTARDIZATION OF EVERYTHING

welp

she's hanging up, ragequit

boop beep]

[pipers_son]

[welp]

[guess he's going to have to avoid the next town for a long fucking while]