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pipers_son: (leyline) (Last night is one of those stories) (Default)
Default
Keywords:
  • Last night is one of those stories
Comment: you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% of what I did.
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) (And the cops told us we were all)
Keywords:
  • And the cops told us we were all
Comment: naked.
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) (Also pencil in smooth jazz and)
Keywords:
  • Also pencil in smooth jazz and
Comment: illegal activities. The usual.
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) (FYI I found your friend asleep in my)
Keywords:
  • FYI I found your friend asleep in my
Comment: kayak in the pool.
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) ("Five things that make you perfect. Go.")
Keywords:
  • "Five things that make you perfect. Go."
Comment: The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) (Well do you wanna do it now or later?)
Keywords:
  • Well do you wanna do it now or later?
Comment: I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) (Why did I wake up to an event)
Keywords:
  • Why did I wake up to an event
Comment: notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) (One of the only things I remember)
Keywords:
  • One of the only things I remember
Comment: was the security guard telling me I was too drunk for laser tag.
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) (Also what is a socially acceptable)
Keywords:
  • Also what is a socially acceptable
Comment: way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) (Am I the only one concerned about)
Keywords:
  • Am I the only one concerned about
Comment: the seagull in the oven?
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) (You talked to that cop for like)
Keywords:
  • You talked to that cop for like
Comment: fifteen minutes, and when you got back you told us you were networking.
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) (If I had to summarize my weekend)
Keywords:
  • If I had to summarize my weekend
Comment: I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine".
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) (I need to beat up a magician now.)
Keywords:
  • I need to beat up a magician now.
Comment: brb
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) (We can't ever have kids because)
Keywords:
  • We can't ever have kids because
Comment: there's a chance they'll end up just like us.
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (leyline) (I would never do this in real life.)
Keywords:
  • I would never do this in real life.
Comment: This is only college
Description: (leyline)
pipers_son: (In the last six hours I have)
Keywords:
  • In the last six hours I have
Comment: procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is
pipers_son: (Your level of morning after guilt)
Keywords:
  • Your level of morning after guilt
Comment: is too much right now. Do less.
pipers_son: (Blood. All over.)
Keywords:
  • Blood. All over.
Comment: Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved.
pipers_son: (I like to think it a success when)
Keywords:
  • I like to think it a success when
Comment: the cops are called.
pipers_son: (I had a guy present me his)
Keywords:
  • I had a guy present me his
Comment: prison release form this morning as ID.
pipers_son: She knows what went down. (Now I have the walk of shame)
Keywords:
  • Now I have the walk of shame
Comment: to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink.
Description: She knows what went down.
pipers_son: (Story update. I'm locked out of my)
Keywords:
  • Story update. I'm locked out of my
Comment: house. Walk of shame advisory extended.
pipers_son: (We are lost.)
Keywords:
  • We are lost.
Comment: Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
pipers_son: (If you ever insult pizza rolls again)
Keywords:
  • If you ever insult pizza rolls again
Comment: I will dragon kick you in the throat.
pipers_son: (The cops didn't even say)
Keywords:
  • The cops didn't even say
Comment: happy birthday to me. :C
pipers_son: (Also hurry up because I don't like)
Keywords:
  • Also hurry up because I don't like
Comment: drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
pipers_son: Return it to it's mom now. (You are not about to raise that)
Keywords:
  • You are not about to raise that
Comment: baby deer. You can BARELY raise yourself.
Description: Return it to it's mom now.
pipers_son: (You know it's been a rough night)
Keywords:
  • You know it's been a rough night
Comment: when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
pipers_son: ("Bring the kids" is the most)
Keywords:
  • "Bring the kids" is the most
Comment: terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
pipers_son: (Don't get me wrong)
Keywords:
  • Don't get me wrong
Comment: I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
pipers_son: so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame. (Honestly at this point)
Keywords:
  • Honestly at this point
Comment: I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore
Description: so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
pipers_son: (I need to throw up and die.)
Keywords:
  • I need to throw up and die.
Comment: The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
pipers_son: (Instead of having sex)
Keywords:
  • Instead of having sex
Comment: we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
pipers_son: (Party at my house. Liquor pinata.)
Keywords:
  • Party at my house. Liquor pinata.
Comment: Your presence is required.
pipers_son: (We didn't even make it to the door)
Keywords:
  • We didn't even make it to the door
Comment: before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
pipers_son: (If God's watching us)
Keywords:
  • If God's watching us
Comment: we might as well be entertaining.
pipers_son: (Woke up in your shoes.)
Keywords:
  • Woke up in your shoes.
Comment: Please tell me you woke up in mine.
pipers_son: (Totally saw a hot amputee.)
Keywords:
  • Totally saw a hot amputee.
Comment: I think this is called character growth.
pipers_son: (I learn from experience and)
Keywords:
  • I learn from experience and
Comment: I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
pipers_son: (She just looked at him and said)
Keywords:
  • She just looked at him and said
Comment: "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
pipers_son: (I feel like I bought a front row)
Keywords:
  • I feel like I bought a front row
Comment: ticket to watch her screw up her life.
pipers_son: (I was the only one at the party that)
Keywords:
  • I was the only one at the party that
Comment: didn't get their name taken by the police.
pipers_son: (I'm convinced that I'm the main)
Keywords:
  • I'm convinced that I'm the main
Comment: character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
pipers_son: (Basically there's shrimp everywhere)
Keywords:
  • Basically there's shrimp everywhere
Comment: splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
pipers_son: (The working title of my paper?)
Keywords:
  • The working title of my paper?
Comment: "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
pipers_son: (idk what to do with this kid)
Keywords:
  • idk what to do with this kid
Comment: he is like legitimately interested in my life
pipers_son: (So I literally just wrote "sorry")
Keywords:
  • So I literally just wrote "sorry"
Comment: on my quiz and turned it in.
pipers_son: (It really wasn't that bad.)
Keywords:
  • It really wasn't that bad.
Comment: Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
pipers_son: (I didn't realize we were having a)
Keywords:
  • I didn't realize we were having a
Comment: competition in poor decision making skills.
pipers_son: (How else could I explain the last)
Keywords:
  • How else could I explain the last
Comment: few years?

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